Well.... I've been successful avoiding this one for long enough now. I did say last week i would post it on Tuesday... It is Tuesday I suppose, just a whole week late! It most certainly falls into the category of more of me that I want to share and so I've been trying to find a reason not to. After praying about it I instead felt even more compelled. So- here it is.
There was no mistake on the title, in case you were wondering. I have lived most of almost 25 years of life truly believing that most people I encounter are on some level of stupid. Yup. That's right. One reason I've lived a life surrounded by only a select few is because everyone else is an idiot.
She thinks what!? She's ridiculous. He did what!? He must be stupid. You're going to buy that? You want to join them? Go there? Change that? You must be an idiot. Nothing you say is worth listening to if that's what you think. I'm so glad I know better than that. I would never have made that mistake. I've got it all together.
Arrogant? Yes. Judgmental? Sure. Intolerant? Absolutely. The saddest part is that I accepted this to be "just who I am" and made little to no effort to change. I mean, it's fine to not like everyone. We can't all be friends with everybody, and I am certainly not one to fake it. But seriously, Leah?? I know. It's mean. If I've ever hated something about myself it's the fact that I think I'm so fricken smart. Then again, I can't help the way I think unless I'm shown something that makes me see otherwise!
Well I'm humbled to say that in the past year I've seen that happen. And as gracious as my sweet Lord is, he didn't choose to beat me up to do it. How then, you ask? Well, it's pretty amazing what happens when you decide to grow closer to Him. When you seek Him out and make time to learn more about His love and will for you. You start to really see things in you and your life that you need to change.
Those of you that have experienced His pruning know that it doesn't just happen in our hearts. Oh no, life keeps going on around us. We can't just lock ourselves in our rooms and pray we can get better in some area. We need to learn it while we live it! And wouldn't you know in almost every area of my world the Lord was placing some rather "stupid" people. Well- it really put a damper on my normal routine when I HAD to interact with these "idiots."
The beauty in it all? As I've grown closer to Him I've loosened my grip on those things that keep me from being complete in my purpose. It's difficult for sure, but I can say in my experience the more I stay in God's word the more naturally the change comes. I've become more like him and it feels good! People I wouldn't have given half a chance have truly earned my respect and appreciation. I've learned so many things from those people that I fear I may never have discovered. And wouldn't you know, I started to really ENJOY some new types of people!!
God was showing me that He uses all people in their unique personalities and ideas. And- here continues to be a tough one for me to swallow- I'm not as all-knowing as I think I am. Gulp. I will just drink that in again as I admit it. ... Stings a little going down, I'll be honest. But for once in my life I actually believe it. Praise Jesus for that.
I will close by saying that I've got a long way to go. My heart is certainly changing in the right direction, but there are times everyday when my judgmental thoughts creep in. I am still praying and seeking Him in this and will probably struggle on some level always. But thank you Lord, for helping to change me! After all, if He hadn't been working on this area, I would have rolled my eyes right past some of the best friends I've ever had. I pray you can learn from my pride and ask Jesus to see others through His eyes. Afterall, only His eyes can see our true hearts.
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