The other day Brynn woke up and wanted pancakes. I of course obliged, being I knew I would LOVE some pancakes as well! We started getting out the ingredients only to realize that I was almost completely out of flour. Of course I had forgotten to put it on the list, so there was no new bag in the pantry either. I was not looking forward to breaking the news to Brynn, and dang it, I wanted me some pancakes! I thought about it for a minute and quickly recalled that my mom makes oat flour all the time by grinding up whole oats in a coffee grinder. So- I went back into the pantry and got out the oatmeal, cleaned out the coffee grinder and got to work. The pancakes turned out perfectly, and I felt pretty proud to be able to improvise.
I've known I was going to write this post for Mother's day for a little while now, and the flour situation really got me thinking. My mom truly taught me all I needed to know and more to become a successful, thriving adult. I don't know that I've ever told her how much she truly means to me- well, actually, I'm sure I haven't because it's rare for me to tell anyone how I truly feel about them- but she is truly amazing and possibly the most influential person in my life. Too often she gives herself little-to-no credit for who she is, and so I will share with you who she is to me.
If anyone has ever truly accepted me for who I am, it's my mom. I remember coming home crying from school one day. My mom met me as I got off the bus as she sometimes did and I spilled the story to her. I had brought something for show-and-tell that day, if my memory serves me right it was a stuffed "Barney" (yep, the big purple dinosaur), and the kids in my class made fun of me for still watching and liking it. My little heart was broken. My mom listened and hugged me. I don't remember at all what she said but I know she made me feel better. Fast forward a few years, and I came home crying again because I was being made fun of for having "developed" sooner than the other girls. They were teasing me and saying that I "stuffed my bra" (oh, yes, remember those days!? I actually never needed to stuff my bra...). You know what my mom said to me? "Well maybe you should just flash them?? That would take care of it." Oh, mom! You see where I get my bluntness!?
Well, I didn't flash them, but I did figure it out. On my own. In fact, I had some tough times in my elementary/ middle school years and I don't remember one single time where my mom got involved by calling a parent, or the school, or whomever. Instead she was there for me. She helped me work through things and she taught me how to problem solve. She put up with me slamming a door in her face for several years, and screaming that I hated her way too many times. She told me the truth I didn't want to hear over and over again, all the while watching me make mistakes she knew I would regret. Even so she never said "I told you so" (or wait, maybe she did ;)) and was there to pick me up when I fell.
She didn't always let me go where other kids got to go, she always asked me the tough questions, she always wanted to know "are their parents going to be home?" and "are there going to be any boys there?" I rolled my eyes at her and hated her for asking. I hated that she made me realize that something I was about to do wasn't right. I wanted so bad for her to just LEAVE ME ALONE! But she never would, thank God. I made plenty of mistakes and I can't imagine the loads more I might have made without her holding me accountable. She tried so hard to keep me from growing up before I should, even though I ran in the opposite direction. I never understood why she wouldn't let me shave my legs when I wanted to, or go to the movies with that boy when I was just 15. Boy do I get it now.
She managed to be housekeeper, cook, councilor, dental assistant, massage therapist, youth group leader, sunday school teacher, and more. She held my family together when it could have easily fallen apart, and I would even argue she saved my dad's life. She has shown me what it truly means to be a Godly wife and is still the person I go to first if I need an ear. I would bet she has prayed for me more than anyone else and reminds me so often of The One who will never let me down. She's the reason I am able to be a good mom to my kids. She taught me how to cook, how to clean the bathroom, how to wash dishes, how to scrub the floors, how to choose a good friend, how to be a good friend...
And now that I'm a mother myself, she has become not only my mother by my friend. I trust her with my heart- and that's saying a lot from me- but the thing that humbles me to the core is that she has started to trust me with hers. This woman who I esteem above all others believes in me. She's proud of me and thinks I'm a worthy opinion and confidant. I hope she knows that I can only be that because she helped make me who I am. I can only pray that someday I can be half the woman she is. Affect even half the lives she has and love Jesus as deeply as she does. I am beyond thankful for my mother- on this day and always. I love you, Mom.
Happy Mother's Day.
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